Mike’s Comedy Network

My cousin Cyndy, teaches little mutants as a special ed professional. Now Cyndy, could be said to be working with “kids who are mentally challenged”, and at worst, she could be brought before Congress and testify as to why some parents should have all their breeding privileges revoked. Within this difficult environment, Cyndi has invented a creative form of CSBM or Christmas Season Behavioral Modification that I think is genius.

When one of Cyndy’s diminutive psycho’s launch into a head spinning coniption, Cyndy sternly stands her ground, points to the flashing battery light in the ceiling smoke alarm and says, “Look there Luis, Rodrego or Scrotenella,… That there is the Santa Cam, and Santa is recording everything you do and say, and we’re sending it direct to his website at the North Pole…… and I don’t think he’s gonna like any of what he just saw.”
Not since Lombardi took over the Packers have you seen discipline like this. These kids were motivated.

Just the implied threat of a “Santa surveillance unit” proved scary enough to cut midget criminal activities school wide.
Loosing Christmas booty via the Vegas eye in the sky wielded a big enough stick that locker beatings and lunchroom thefts dropped 46%.
To add credence to the Santa Cam, Cyndy had somehow found a Norwegian website that showed a guy dressed like Santa sitting in the North Pole at a Snowy computer. She kept it on line at all times and when she’d walk by the monitor, would pause and wave. She made it look like he could see her, and they were communicating. If a kid really got out of line, Cyndy would pull out her cell phone, make a fake call and name names to the big fella at the Pole like she was fingering a perp on Court TV.
The overall effect was as powerful as a taser to the youthful scrotum, and made them straighten up and fly right.

This dark ops surveillance threat from the North was bought hook line and sinker. The specter of cutting into their Christmas booty proved strong enough to make them toe the line, become citizens, and in some cases stymie all nefarious behavior.